The Ad-VAN-ture Continues

I will start this blog how I always start them - by acknowledging that this is hella late. My excuse this time is that I had to give my work laptop back in May when I finished my job, and I hate typing on a travel keyboard. However I've just started work again, so back in business with a bigger keyboard. Don't tell them, but it's the only reason I accepted the job...

The date is 13th January 2023. In fair Queenstown where we lay our scene. We had left Arrowtown and were heading to our next campsite. It was a hilly road that turned into a gravel track for about 7km, which obviously we thoroughly enjoyed in our sketchy van, and we definitely didn't think it would break... After a couple of stops to let sheep move out of the way, we arrived and all thoughts of regret over our life choices vanished. We'd found another stunning spot by a lake. Zero phone signal but maximum views.

During our afternoon ritual of napping and playing cards, we heard the distant sound of bagpipes, coming from an island in the middle of the lake. Incredibly weird but at least whoever it was could play them well. Much better than Ross Gellar anyway.

In the morning we had breakfast with a family of friendly ducks, before braving the long gravel road back to Queenstown, with a few more sheep stops of course. Second breakfast included a massive "slice" of carrot cake by Lake Wakatipu. Then we traversed the lake on a high speed jet boat, which was incredibly fun.

Another day, another beautiful, and free campsite for us to find on another part of the lake. Still surrounded by mountains, and with beaches too, thankfully this one did not require a long bumpy drive. We met a lovely Irish man who gave us some marshmallows for toasting, and his young son who could be a bit of an oversharer...

Next on our itinerary of expensive adventure activities was paragliding. I'd done this once before in Turkey, and my family have always laughed about how the only safety instructions we got were "when I say run, run".

When I met the instructor, I asked him if he'd been paragliding before, but he did not seem to fully appreciate my sense of humour! Gliding over the mountains was incredible, and to quote every British person when the sun comes out, "absolute day for it". When we landed, my instructor pointed out Catherine still in the air. Everyone could hear her screaming/laughing, even from the ground!

To be honest it wasn't much more extensive than that in New Zealand. I guess there's not that much to it (as a passenger at least).

You can't go to Queenstown without having a Fergburger (it's actually illegal, look it up), so we joined the huge dinnertime queue of others carrying out their moral/civic duty. It's like this every day in summer, so they have staff handing out menus and umbrellas while you wait in the sun. We were out in less than 40 minutes, which we didn't think was too bad. I wouldn't wait that long for a McDonald's, but this burger was pretty bangin'. I followed it up with an ice cream from Mrs Ferg's Gelateria, as is my right.

We'd been trying to go paddleboarding for a few days but it was always booked out, though we finally managed to book the first slot the next morning. We got to the beach early and the lake was super quiet and calm. I managed to stand up for a few very brief periods, while Catherine was much more of a pro. About 20 minutes in though, the weather turned out of nowhere. Suddenly it was very choppy and way more difficult, though still fun. By the time our hour was up, they had put away all the equipment and called it a day due to the weather, so we were the only people to go out. Another stroke of good luck.

After a trip to Fergbaker (we didn't manage to complete the Ferg-quadfecta as we missed the bar), we boarded the 4WD coach that took us high into the mountains. They conveniently gave us a video to watch as we scaled a near-vertical cliff edge. Up here is where I did the (in)famous Nevis Swing - 160m in the air with a 300m swing over a canyon. It was way more fun than the bungy I did in Taupo, as it lasts much longer, and you don't have to make yourself jump! It was the best way to end my Queenstown adventure.

From one swing to another... the next day we found the famous Milford Sound Swing, after the absolutely stunning drive from Te Anau, which did turn to scary at one point. While driving on a slightly gravelly, uphill road, the vibrations caused the lock on the side of our van to come loose, and the 7kg gas canister came out of its compartment while driving. Luckily, the hose which attaches it to the stove was strong enough to hold it, so it dangled precariously on the outside of the van while I frantically searched for a space to pull over, without injuring the line of traffic behind us. While parked up we tried to tighten the lock, to no avail, so we taped it shut. Yet another issue to add to our growing complaint email to the rental company.

Heartrates definitely raised, we made it to Milford Sound, and did some walking (and swinging) while we waited for our cruise. The boat took us through the fjords and under waterfalls. At this point I've run out of synonyms for beautiful.

The absolute highlight of our trip came in Te Anau. We had googled 'things to do' and with a plethora of glowing, 5 stars reviews on google, we couldn't miss the world-renowned trout observatory. Suffice to say, we were not disappointed. After paying $2 to get through the turnstile, we were greeted with two tanks, filled with a whopping 8 trout. Glorious. Of course we spent the evening composing our own laudatory review.

Our next stop was Cromwell. The historic precinct was a bit weird, lots of 1860s gold town buildings. It was a boiling hot day so we thought we'd chill with a nice cold bevaragino, but we thought wrong. We got rejected as we didn't have our passports on us. No bevs for us then, we had to settle for an ice cream instead. Woe is me.

I know I've said this a lot but we stayed at yet another [insert word for beautiful here] free campsite, this time by Lake Dunstan. However that was nothing in comparison to the next night, at Lake Pukaki. Hands down the most stunning spot we stayed at.

I've looked up some synonyms for beautiful to mix it up a bit: alluring, handsome, ravishing, beguiling, drop-dead gorgeous, bonny, tasty, knockout, spunky, and my new favourite - pulchritudinous. I will be using these going forward.

So this lake was super handsome and ravishing. It was so blue, and you could see Mt Cook in the background. We went for a swim and a walk around the lake. There was no drinking water at this campsite, and Catherine was scared we didn't have enough. So she drove into town to get some while I took up as much space as possible in a camping chair, and stared down other campers to keep our good parking spot. For me that was scarier than what we did the next day...

...Skydiving! We'd both done it before, in Airlie Beach, coincidentally with the same instructor, but on different days. This was quite a different experience, being that it was over mountains rather than beaches, and there were only 3 of us (plus 3 instructors and a pilot) on the plane, rather than busloads of backpackers in Australia. The cold air and ice rushed against our faces as we freefalled (freefell?) towards the earth. I had to consciously keep my mouth shut. Neither of us could justify paying for the photo package, which was fine as we already had the iconic photo of our faces melting away. The third guy did though, so we asked him if we could see his videos, to get screenshots of us cheapskates in the background.

On the way to Mount Cook, we stopped at another lavender farm, for longer than intended due to Catherine dropping her phone among the rows of lavender! We (I) finally found it, so we headed to the bottom of Mount Cook to walk the Hooker Valley track, which I loved. The views were stunning babes. What was disappointing though, was that there was nowhere to get ice cream when we finished.

We spent an incredibly long time on the drive back, posing for photos in the middle of the road. Gotta get that shot for the 'gram though.

On we went, to, would you believe it? Another campsite by a lake. It seems New Zealand is full of 'em. This one is Tekapo. That night I did a stargazing tour in a thermal hot spring. The area is the largest dark sky reserve in the southern hemisphere. Light pollution is controlled and it has a busy night sky. We got to look through fancy telescopes and then float in a hot spring while learning about the universe. Very cool.

It was all going too well really wasn't it? On our way out of Tekapo, we stopped at this place on the side of the road, with 1950s American-style shop fronts and decor. It was full of weird paraphernalia, but was interesting enough for a 15 minute stop. Hahaha. When we got back in the van, it wouldn't start. We were pretty sure it wasn't the battery as we hadn't left anything running, it hadn't been that long, and it wasn't even making the noise to try to turn the engine over. Obviously there was no phone signal, because why would there be?

Luckily I'd bought a fresh fruit ice cream, and so the lady was kind enough to let us use the landline phone from the shop, and use their Wi-Fi after they left (it was 5pm, hometime). We called the rental company, who told us that if it was the battery, that would be deemed our fault, and we would have to pay for a mechanic. We told them we were 99% sure it wasn't the battery, but they sounded doubtful. After all, we were just two clueless girls who knew nothing about cars.

While we waited for the breakdown company, the family in the house next door arrived home and obviously saw us and our giant van. The man looked at the van and said he could try to fix it. We had to politely tell him thanks, but no thanks. As if he did manage to fix it then we would definitely be charged for the callout. So instead we chatted to his daughter for a while.

An old-ish couple soon turned up in a ute, dressed in their going-out clothes. We were surprised when they told us they were the breakdown people. They said they were on their way to a BBQ when they were told we just needed a jumpstart for a dead battery.

Hmmph. I knew they didn't believe us on the phone.

They very quickly assessed that it was not in fact the battery. Oh. It was the starter motor. And they didn't have any tools with them so they couldn't fix it. Oh. So the two clueless girls were right after all. [middle finger emoji]

After acquiring all the men from the house, they managed to do a temporary fix and give us a rolling start. We were under strict instruction to drive straight to a campsite and not stop, or we would not be able to start again. We panic-drove the whole way, stressed that we would accidentally stall the van or something.

The mechanic came to us the next morning, and said he'd have to get a part in from Christchurch. This meant we ended up spending nearly three days in a tiny town called Fairlie, known only for its pies. We ate a lot of pies.

Finally we could pick up the van and make our way to Timaru. Not quite Timbuktu but probably not a whole lot different. We saw loooads of seals but sadly no penguins. From here we started back down the east coast. A weird route because I had a gig in Dunedin 4 days before the van was due back, which was not enough time to do all the middle bits.

Oamaru was slightly more exciting than Timaru. We went to a steampunk museum and a beach full of underwhelming boulders. The weather was lovely the first morning we were in Dunedin. We had camped in a pub car park so were quite keen to get out of there, and had breakfast at a slightly more scenic car park instead. We walked down to Tunnel Beach where we watched a seal sunbathing, and then I somehow got caught by a sudden tide and ended up with soggy shoes and socks.

The walk back up was more of a struggle. It was a hot morning, and we'd obviously not showered in the pub car park. By the time we reached the top we were sweaty. It was decided that we should go to a local swimming pool so we could cool down and have a wash. Dreamy.

Once clean, we drove to the free campsite/car park in town so we could explore the city for the afternoon, before my gig. What we did not consider though, was that other people would also be attending this gig. Other people who were also in campervans. We waited in a queue of vans for people to leave the car park so we could take their spot. I think we were fourth in the queue and it took us about 1.5-2hr. The absolute relief when we finally got one. I have no idea how long some others waited, as there were at least 10 vans behind us.

We did not have a huge amount of time to explore, so instead went to a brewery. The sun was shining and there was a live band. I repeat, day for it. Soon, we said farewell and I headed off to my first ever solo gig. Red Hot Chili Peppers and Post Malone. I'd bought the ticket spontaneously when I was back in the UK. And here I was, six months later. I met a nice gal who snuck me into the queue so I didn't have to wait hours. Kiwis are nice. Then I emptied my bladder and pondered one of life's biggest questions: do I buy more drinks to loosen up, at the risk of needing the toilet, or do I drink nothing and stand awkwardly the whole night on my own?

I went for option A. I lasted all through Post Malone and 85% of the Chilis before the situation became desperate enough for me to squeeze out through the crowd. I stood in the stands for the encore which was actually cool for a different perspective.

The rain came the next day. We went to the world's steepest street, but then back up to Oamaru, where I'm pretty sure we spent most of the day in a pub escaping the rain and eating chips. From there we powered through to Akaroa, a cute little beach town that's supposedly very French, but I barely noticed that. The weather wasn't amazing but the scenery on the drive was great.

Somehow we made it to our last day of the road trip We went to Lyttleton and Sumner Beach as the weather had improved. I had my last ice cream of the trip. And then we drove to a car park by the port to pack our bags and sleep in the van for the last time.

The same guy with terrible customer service was there when we went to return the van, so that wasn't a fun experience, but by this point we'd already sent our lengthy complaint and been promised some money back. .

It was an emotional farewell at the airport, as I headed for the domestic departures, and Catherine to the international, where she ended up waiting a looooong time due to flight delays.

At this point, Auckland was under a state of emergency due to flooding, so I was a little nervous to be flying back there. You could see some impact of the floods from the air. I was surprised to see my car still on the road in front of our house when I finally returned.

I had some mail waiting for me too. Keep in mind it was now 30th Jan, and my birthday was 8th Dec. I received a birthday card from my parents, which they had spent all that money on sending, but had forgotten to actually write in. Plus a couple of Christmas decorations, in time for Valentine's I guess? Do I blame the postal service or my parents for these delays? I'll let you decide.